


Chasing the thread

by Marium



Category: The Walking Dead (Comics), The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: F/M, Flowers, Fluff, Negan Being Negan, Post-Apocalypse, Pre-Relationship, The Sanctuary
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-15
Updated: 2018-04-15
Packaged: 2019-04-23 11:57:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,792
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14331981
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Marium/pseuds/Marium
Summary: Negan never met Lucille before the apocalypse, but he’s meant to meet her and love her all the same.





	Chasing the thread

Lucille was at first a little bit too busy to notice it. Some of the saviors had gone on one of their seldomly made scavenging runs, some other saviors had gone on one of their much more frequent trades with other communities - trades, or blackmail, or something in between; Lucille had heard more than one version of how the whole thing worked and she was too busy trying to make a living to muster enough time to frown down at it - and both of them had dumped part of their loots on her. Now she was using her half-decent pharmacy experience to figure out what exactly each of the at least fifty kinds of medicine was good for, and therefore, her mind took a moment too long to notice that everyone else on the pseudo-marketplace had gone silent and was standing up.

Her eyes widened in panic when she noticed it and understood. She let the pill box in her hands fall down and practically jumped onto her feet, feeling her heartbeat quicken a bit. Her eyes swiftly scanned over the area, and she let out a small sigh of relief when she saw that she had only been delayed by a few seconds and some other people, elders mostly, were still on their way to standing up too. Tanya, on the stall across hers, took notice of her and made a discreet gesture to let her know it was okay. Lucille smiled briefly at her, then schooled her expression into something proper.

She was almost on the other end of the hall from where the man had walked in, but even from there, she could see the grin in his face as he silently regarded the dozens of people under him, anxiously waiting for any word from him. He let them fidget for a few moments more, and then he made a dismissive gesture with his hand that had the whole room let out a silent but obvious sigh of relief as they sat back down to do their thing. Lucille watched him walk down the stairs to mix with the commoners, disappearing onto the sea of people, and brought her hand up to her chest as she sighed again. For a few eternal moments, she’d feared someone had fucked up and they were all going to pay for it, or he’d announce another change to the points system that would have her back into struggling once more, or something to the same effect.

Having knelt down to pick up the pills and sitting again, Lucille went back to work. If it was anyone else who had walked in, she’d have been fidgeting wondering if she’d have the dubious honor of coming face-to-face with a savior, but she didn’t think so. He hardly ever grabbed stuff personally, so chances were he was just taking a shortcut to some other part of the Sanctuary or was just making them anxious for the hell of it. Therefore relaxed, she got back to trying to figure out whether the medicine on her hand was meant to help someone sleep or help someone with a bad case of constipation.

Lucille worked fast, and she did it deeply focused. Therefore, five minutes later, she was putting all her attention on the fifth box of pills, and only broke out of her focus when a deep, pointed and deliberate cough sounded in front of her.

She looked up. Her mouth went dry and she paled as her eyes widened. She promptly left everything on her desk and hurried to stand up, making a little bow.

“Sir! I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to ignore you, I-”

“Don’t sweat it, honey” he interrupted, an easy wave of his hand enough to have her mouth painfully shut. He rolled his neck, leaned back a bit, and grinned. “Just proves you take seriously what you do. That’s fucking fantastic far as I’m concerned. And hey, don’t ‘sir’ me or you’re gonna make me feel as old as I am” he added with an easy chuckle that Lucille was unable to mimic. “I got a kickass name for a reason. Call me Negan.”

Lucille gaped a few times, trying to take control of her own nerves. Her eyes briefly went over Negan, stopping for a moment on the big knife on his belt, and even though she knew he wasn’t going to hurt her unless she seriously fucked up something big, knowing just how dangerous a man he could be was enough to have her on the edge.

Her hands dug onto the fabric of her jeans as she forced herself not to lose her cool. She was doing exactly what she was supposed to do, and everything would be alright as long as she continued doing just that. And right now, what she was supposed to do was to pay attention to him.

“Alright, Negan” she said, feeling weird addressing him so casually. She crossed her arms, hoping the gesture would help her feel more grounded. “Is there anything you need?”

“Why, indeed there is!” he replied cheerfully, eyes sparkling and grin widening as if he’d just heard an extremely hilarious joke rather than a vendor offering help. He leaned forward, one elbow resting on her table, the opposite hand resting on his hip, smile shining up at her. “Tell me, sweetie, let’s say I’ve been having a killer headache that comes and goes as if my head were a goddamn hotel and won’t let me get a fucking second of shuteye at night and then make me pass out in the middle of the day. What’s the pretty pill that will help daddy get his well deserved rest when he’s supposed to?”

“For starters, I’d ask Carson to look into it” she mused to herself. Negan’s eyes narrowed as he laughed again.

“Yeah, you’re not the only one. Had my head hit pretty hard a few days ago and it’s been fucking me over ever since. But I know Carson’s gonna tell me some ‘stay home and rest’ shit and I can’t have that when I’m exploring some new area, feel me? So I need something to make sure I don’t pass the fuck out in the middle of a run. Be a dear and give this poor old man something to soothe his pains.”

Alright, that Lucille could do. It was easy, no chances to seriously fuck up there. Well, there were, if she gave him something that would send him into a coma rather than help him sleep, but Lucille was certain enough that she knew her way around pills and doses. She looked into a drawer at her right, searched in it for a few moments, and put two small packages on the table after checking them to make sure. It had taken less than a minute.

“A pill of this half an hour before going to sleep, one and a half at most if you still can’t sleep good. Half a pill of this one if you’re feeling a headache start, but don’t take it until five hours after the last one.”

“Doc did say you’re a smart one” Negan hummed happily as he took the boxes and put a loud, wet kiss on each on them. He winked at Lucille saucily, tongue out. “Thank you so fucking much for your help, fine lady. How many points are those?”

Lucille blinked a couple times, confused and wondering why he didn’t just leave already. “You don’t pay points” she stated as if he didn’t know it better than anyone else.

He waved his hand dismissively. “Nevermind that shit. I think I can make an exception, this time. What can I say? I’m feeling nice and fucking generous today.” He made no effort to hide how his eyes unashamedly went up and down her body more than once or twice, and his tongue made an apparition yet again, lewd rather than cheeky now. His eyes met hers, a question in them, and she shook her head to deny any interest.

“If you must, then it’s sixty-five points each.”

“Perfect. And what name do I have to reward for her service? You know, I’m the one giving you points for working hard here, all day long. Well, Simon is, but I think today I can make an exception and check the points flow myself. Go on, tell me” he continued, a bit too eager. Lucille smiled faintly for a second, but she quickly dismissed the notion of making him insist for her name. She was smarter than she was playful.

“Lucille.”

“Lucille! Fucking beautiful name for a fucking beautiful woman. How much do you earn for handling these little godsents?”

“Ten points every three days” she replied, rolling her eyes. When she did so, she suddenly took notice of the large number of eyes set on her. Or more specifically, on the woman who was talking to Negan. And just like that, any hint of relaxedness she’d managed to gain since she first saw Negan in front of her vanished, and she was left pointedly staring at her feet, fervently wishing he would leave already so everyone could go back to ignoring her.

Negan didn’t take notice of her step back from mildly nervous to greatly uncomfortable. “Sweet! Seventy points for Lucille today! I’ll keep it in mind when I go through my books tonight. You can thank me later, sweetie. You can be there to see it happen.”

Lucille’s head snapped up, red from mortification and embarrassment, feeling so many eyes on her. She faltered on her words, and when she saw Negan licking his lips again, she knew he was mistaking it for shyness. She energetically shook her head and planted her hands on the table.

“I’d rather not.”

Negan’s grin faltered for a moment, but then he laughed softly and raised his eyebrows. “Damn, alright. No need to get snappy, sweetie.”

“I’m sorry” she muttered, averting his eyes. Her fingers tapped on the wood under them.

“Nah, no need. Getting attention from me? Must be quite a fucking experience” he replied cockily. To Lucille’s mortification, instead of grabbing his meds and just fucking go already, he leaned forward, closer to her, so she could hear him when he whispered. “But you better believe me, honey, it’s a damn worthwhile experience. Not gonna press, but I really advise you to give it some thought. It can even be a more-than-once deal. Feel tempted yet?”

“Not really” she hissed angrily. He hummed and chuckled.

“C’mon, live a little! Points and good, hot, steamy fucking. What’s there not to like?”

He wiggled his eyebrows pointedly, and Lucille’s face was brightly red, and she could feel so many eyes on her and the red went higher and she was known to have not so great reactions when feeling embarrassed. She took a step back and before she knew what she was doing, her hand was flying towards Negan’s cheek, but it met Negan’s own hand instead when he stopped it. His expression had completely fallen down.

Lucille felt her heart come to a sudden halt and her blood turned icy. Oh god, oh god, she had gone and fucked up. That was it. Now all she could do was hope he didn’t punish her too harsh. Oh god. The whole room had gone silent and nothing was distracting her from the frantic workings of her head.

But when Negan spoke, he wasn’t angry. “I’m sorry” he said, low and clear, and if he sounded upset, he also sounded like it wasn’t directed at her. “I should have just backed off. That wasn’t fucking cool of me.” Then, faster than a blink, he was back to grinning. He took her hand to his lips and put a chaste kiss on the back of it before letting it go and standing straight. He grinned at her, friendly rather than lewd now.

“Gotta go now, I’m afraid. Thank you for your services, sweetheart. See you around.”

And then he was gone, and Lucille was left to finally breathe as everyone else went back to their own damn business. Tanya made a quizzical gesture at her and Lucille gave her a thumb up to tell her she was alright. Alright, but confused.

God, her leader was a weird man.

 

-0-o-0-o-0-

 

Lucille smiled at Amy and Jake, crouching down to be at their height. She ruffled their hair lightly and then gave them a gentle tap on the head to get them to go. They waved goodbye and rushed to join the little handful of kids that lived in the Sanctuary, playing with an empty can as if it was a soccer ball. Lucille knew there were other adults across the yard, making sure none of the kids got too close to the fence or the walkers on it, so she allowed herself to get distracted for a moment as she searched in her pockets and lit a cigarette. She took a puff of it, slowly letting it out, and leaned on the wall.

“Aren’t you too young to smoke? That shit’s shitty for your health, you know.”

Lucille startled slightly when she heard Negan, and looking to her left, she saw him walking up to her and offering a lazy smile when he leaned on the wall a mere meter from her, hands on his pockets. He’d taken that leather jacket of his off, and like that, just on a white t-shirt and jeans and leaning on a wall, he felt like a normal guy. Maybe that was why Lucille actually felt relaxed in his presence.

She smiled wryly and blew some smoke into his face. He wrinkled his nose, but made a point of inhaling extra-sharply. Lucille’s smile grew a few inches.

“Negan, I’m thirty-seven and I look my age, and I don’t feel self-conscious about it at all. I don’t want to be back to my twenties. You shouldn’t be trying to flatter me, but if you’re gonna do it, you’re not quite doing it right.”

Negan’s lips twitched on the side in a smile of his own, and he arched an eyebrow as he turned towards her, resting his weight on his shoulder rather than his back. “Didn’t try to imply otherwise, sweetheart. You look fucking edible no matter what age you are. But still, I think you look quite a few years younger. Not a good or bad thing, just the way it fucking is” he added stubbornly, raising his chin a bit and refusing to own the cheesiness of his earlier words. Lucille arched her eyebrow too.

“Well, what age are you, if I may ask? If you thought I was that young, wouldn’t that make you a creeper?”

For a few moments, Negan looked like a startled deer in the headlights. “Shit. Em. Details. Anyway, that, huh, look I’m not a creeper, alright? I was trying to be smooth, I just, huh… And I’m just forty-two!” He continued stammering nervously. He saw Lucille’s mocking and triumphant smile and got visibly more nervous. “But the point! You shouldn’t smoke. Toxic shit. Will eat your lungs away. Getting rid of tobacco is one of the few things this walker shit has given us. Can I have a drag, by the way?”

Lucille let out a soft laugh as she passed the cigarette. She eyed the way Negan’s lips closed on it, the way he closed his eyes, leaned his head back until it touched the concrete wall, and quietly let the smoke come out of his nose. Negan let one of his eyes open a slit, just enough to keep her in his vision, and he gave a lazy, toothy smile as he passed it back. Lucille took one last drag and then let it fall to the floor, stepping on it.

“It’s probably the last time I ever have one, anyway” she mused vaguely, watching the dark stain she had just formed on the floor. “It was a sort of goodbye, I guess. Those are just too damn expensive. Next time I have enough for any luxury I’ll take something that I actually need. I’m not killing myself to work just to spend all of it on poison.”

Negan’s eyebrows raised. “Wait, you earned it yourself?”

Lucille mimicked his expression. “What exactly do you think? I work hard and I work good.”

The mildly indignant tone of her voice was enough for Negan to look slightly chastised, avoiding her face for a second. He rolled his shoulders and shrugged. “I assumed you took it with the points I gave you a couple days ago.”

“No. I do good enough on my own. I gave them to people who actually need them.”   


A short silence followed. Lucille hummed lightly to herself as she watched the children. A few times she was about to stand up to go check on them, but someone else always told them to stay safely away from the walkers before she needed to. Other than those few moments, she just smiled at the scene. Negan, however, wasn’t that comfortable; she could feel it in the way he repeatedly fidgeted and almost started to speak more than once, but never getting around to it. She said nothing about it.

“Are they yours?” he finally spluttered. At her quizzical look, Negan’s face became a slight shade of red. “The kids. Are they yours? You married? Got a man?”

Lucille blinkled blankly at him. Then she laughed and shook her head. “God, no. They’re Sherry’s, a friend. I’m just looking over them for a few hours while she and her husband are working.”

“Oh” Negan said, visibly relaxed now, and his cocky smile was right back on place. It lasted for a second, and then he frowned. “Sherry, you said…?”

She waited patiently for him to place the name, and then snorted when his eyes widened comically and he turned to the kids, scowling deep in thought. Lucille shook her head in utter amusement.

“Stop the maths, none of them is yours. Sherry already had them when she slept with you. Why do you think she wanted those points so bad? Supporting two kids is hard, you know.”

Negan made some dumb noise and then he looked down at his hands. “I feel kind of like an asshole now.”

“You’re kind of an asshole” she easily agreed. She smiled at his pout and patted his shoulder. “If it makes you feel better, they’re doing pretty good now. Plus, it’s them I gave my points to. It’s gonna be a long while before they struggle.”

Negan’s pout remained for a few more moments, but then he smiled and nodded. He gifted Lucille a soft look, and then leaned over to whisper “I’ll be right back” before running off and climbing up some stairs. He knelt down to pick something and then he rushed back.

“Tah-fucking-dah” he exclaimed, gleeful and happy, as he shoved a bouquet into Lucille’s face. She narrowed her eyes and pushed it away, wanting to actually see it rather than have it obscure her entire vision. She gave a second to Negan’s excited and awaiting expression before inspecting the bouquet itself. There were a few cornflowers, a good handful of lilies of the valley, and in the center of it all, a bright and ridiculously huge-by-comparison sunflower. A rubber band tied it all together. Crumpled leaves framed it.

It was, to be completely honest, the most messy bouquet Lucille had ever seen. But precisely because of that, she could feel something like excitement and enthusiasm radiating off it, nearly as much as it did from Negan’s face. Against her better judgement, Lucille took it with a bright smile and leaned to smell it, her nose brushing the center of the sunflower.

“Thank you” she said, coy and bright. Negan’s smile brightened like the sun itself.

“I wanted to give it to you to say sorry for what I did the other day, but then I saw you with the kids, and well, I fucking got discouraged even with how fucking cute it was, I guess. But they’re not yours, you’re not taken, so…” He gestured vaguely at her. “There you fucking go. Hope you like it.”

“I think I do” she replied, holding the flowers to her chest. She tilted her head. “But, far as I know, someone being taken has never stopped you.”

A slight blush appeared on Negan’s cheeks, and he gave a flustered chuckle as he ran his hand through his mouth and hair. “Fuck, I swear I’m never nervous when I’m not around you... “ he whispered, mostly to himself, before nodding at her. “It usually doesn’t, no. But here’s the thing, and this might be pretty goddamn wild of me to say, but when I was coming here I was thinking that I’m not going to just bang you and be done with you. I’m pretty damn sure of it now. I want more from you.” He traced a faint, unsure smile. “Lucille, you’re sweet, and you don’t bite back your tongue. I like it.”

Now Lucille did go completely speechless. Sheer shock made her still as her wide eyes fixed on Negan. Still, she did nothing when he gently and slowly reached for her, giving her time to move away. He took a loose curl and tucked it behind her ear, and then leaned to put a light, slow kiss on her cheek.

“Lucille, you’re sweet” he repeated, a whisper only for her to hear. His eyes, half-hooded and glittering, didn’t move away from her. “Let me be sweet to you.”

He looked into her eyes for a moment longer, and then mischief filtered back into him. He stepped back, grinning wide and winking.

“You better be fucking ready, sweetheart” he exclaimed, loud and energetic. “I’m gonna sweep you off your feet and right into my arms. You mark my words.”

He left then. Lucille’s eyes trailed him until he disappeared indoors and she remained looking there long after he was gone. Her fingers absently caressed the flowers on her hands.

It was more complicated than it was worth, a part of her reasoned. Negan was a big man, a dangerous, unpredictable man. Even from her position she could tell that, and she knew there were storms inside him she could only begin to imagine. Looking down at the sunflower, she wondered how much a few flowers that radiated simple charm were worth.

She smiled as she smelled them once again. She decided to leave the worries for some other time. Right now, all she knew was that loving those flowers felt right. Like it was what she was supposed to do.


End file.
